yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
its liver damage thursday
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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