I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
