You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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