It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
