I hope mine doesn't look like that
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
