Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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