ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
