Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
a search helicopter?!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
