U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
