I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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