I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
