Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize