i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
