Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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