I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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