Duck Duck Cougar?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
