When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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