Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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