The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
