You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
