I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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