Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
