good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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