idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
