So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
