I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
