Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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