sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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