i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
