Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
