Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
