I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
