We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
