spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
