Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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