Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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