i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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