Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
