Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
