he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
