the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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