On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
