im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
