i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You're a waste of cheezeits
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
