I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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