Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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