I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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