just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
