I seem to have left my pride at pride
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
