Christians are straight up FREAKS
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
