i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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