He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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