oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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