i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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