I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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