I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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