If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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