do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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