Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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