shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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