What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
