Please, let me fuck your mom
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
