i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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