ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
