I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
