I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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