Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
