I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
