Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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