There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
